It was such a short period of time, but I never thought it would impact me this much.
You would think that over time my feelings would fade, but, on the contrary, it has escalated to point that I'm practically dreaming about him every single night. I can't stop thinking about him. These flashbacks won't leave me alone.
Darren Syu, why do I like you so?
It was my stupid fault that I confessed my feelings that night. I knew the long term impact, but I was so caught up in the moment; I was overjoyed when my feelings were requited. Nonetheless, he made it absolutely clear to me that his parents didn't allow him date. "Why don't we just make the best of the time that we have here?" How selfish of me. I didn't think I'd fall for him this much, and now here I am--an emotional wreck.
I shouldn't expect him to continue you liking me. I shouldn't expect him to take the initiative to contact me. I shouldn't expect so much out of him because "the time that we have here" does not include now.
It was I who established this from the beginning in an effort to just be with him, even in that short period of time., and here I am still thinking about him.
I don't want to be pushy, and I definitely don't want to be clingy. So what do I do?
I miss him.
1: i end up pretty damn happy
2: she crushes my heart and i become someone else entirely.
and i rather have her crush my heart in one attack then to poison me and slowly push me away
I haven't blogged in here for a long time, but I had the weirdest dream ever. I was engaged.. you would think it would be with Alan, but nope! It was with Thinh.
So in my dream, Thinh proposed to me and I said yes. He gave me a gorgeous ring that was a bit too big for my finger.. I thought we were in our twenties but it turned out that we were still Seniors in high school. I went to school and everyone was congratulating me. There were already plans made for the wedding.
I didn't know that we were so young, so I didn't want to get married anymore. However, while I was cleaning I lost my ring. I ran around asking people if they saw my ring and this lady was staring at me. I said to her, "What?! I'm not a goldigger! I'm engaged and I need my ring!"
..I found my ring.
When I told Thinh that I thought we were too young to get married, he said to me, "Why does it matter if we're too young? If we love each other, why does it matter?"
Then I woke up..
weeeiirrddd dream. Well, I know one story that I can't tell Alan. ><
